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Slaves, dominas, crops, whips, handcuffs and ropes: BDSM is a mysterious subject. When mentioned anywhere, it immediately generates attention from complete rejection, indignation to shining eyes and knowing smiles. Occasionally, BDSM topics cause hype in the media and, as a result, people who are least aware of the actual meaning discuss there.

Definition for BDSM

The web is full of explanations of what BDSM is and what it means. They outbid each other in scope, depth and illustration. Even Wikipedia explains about so many lines that curious people and beginners buzz their heads. If you havent had anything to do with BDSM yet and dont want to go into it any deeper, its enough to know: BDSM is a sexual game in which one partner voluntarily submits to the other. The submissive partner is usually referred to as submissive and the dominant partner as dominating. And what does the abbreviation BDSM stand for? All right, you want to know more. The term BDSM consists of the first letters of the English terms Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism. This also works in German, but doesnt sound so great anymore: bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, inflicting pain and enduring pain. FDDUZE. Pretty awkward. And as with any translation, its simply not the broad spectrum of all the mostly sexual behaviors that are summarized under the term BDSM. Isnt that rape? No. It just isnt. What the dominant partner does to his or her mature submissive counterpart is always done in mutual agreement and voluntarily. Of course, the fact that the submissive partner also allows painful sexual acts per se creates a power gap. In which the dominant partner must pay very close attention to how far he may go and from which moment on he reaches the limit of the consensual. In order to be able to assess this, it requires prior knowledge, clear agreements and sufficient trust on the part of the partner. If someone tells you, for example, that he is tying and abusing a woman against her explicit will, report him to the police. This is not a BDSM. Shades Of Grey. You have read books that are bestsellers and in which unbelievably experienced gentlemen in unbelievably inexperienced women awaken incredible desires? You have seen on TV reports of happily made Maso slaves with happily making Dominas? Forget it all. BDSM is not even initiated by the experienced gaze of another person. And BDSM doesnt just happen on your skin, but first and foremost in your head. If you want to try out BDSM just because youve read or seen it and its chic, youre welcome to do so. But then limit yourself to simple things like loosely tied hands and feel in yourself if you really want more. You should be aware that you cant just become a BDSMler. Admittedly, many people claim that of themselves (and for the uninitiated, their stories seem as dazzling as they do for those actually involved). You cant just pick up a rope or a crop, set off and dominate the world. Likewise, you wont enjoy trying to throw yourself on the ground and lick high boots.

Bondage is a passion

And its just like any other passion: Either you share it or you dont. You should feel from the inside whether BDSM fascinates you. On which side you feel drawn. Did you enjoy it as a child when you were tied up by others while playing Indian games? Did you enjoy putting handcuffs on robbers and gendarmes? Do pictures of tied up people appeal to you? Does it upset you when you think about wearing a collar? Or are you fascinated by wearing a collar? Do you find a tightly laced corset erotic? How do you feel about pictures of skin reddened by blows? Do you feel anything in you that makes you believe that it is exciting to dominate or be dominated by another person? If not, let it stay. Dont try it. To fine! Thats exactly how I want it! Please refrain from putting your fantasies into action quickly. You have a long way to go. First of all, it is important that you read a lot. Research the web and find out what really appeals to you. Make contact with other people who have more experience than you. Exchange ideas with them. You can also do that in our forum. You can also find information sources under our favourite links. Sort exactly, which fantasies are at all real convertible. There are lots of stories and movies in which sadomasochistic practices are described and shown, which dont work at all. And it is also nothing unusual that Kopfkino frustrates in reality. Dont underestimate any dangers. Often there is the impression that BDSM works very easily. In reality, however, experience is required, as well as an awareness of the risks that can lurk. Once a hand has turned blue and you cant get the knot open, skin bursts under your completely covered and misplaced blow or your partner ruffles in a rope loop from which you cant get it out, its too late. Behind some corners panic lurks and right behind it physical and psychological damage that can no longer be done well. Especially newcomers and people who have little or no experience with such practices can quickly find themselves in unpredictable situations that can be harmful to their health or even life-threatening! SM is a serious matter, even if it is often referred to as a game! Dont be tempted or irritated by others who tell you that theyve been doing this for years, that nothings ever happened before, and that warnings like this are for sissies. Once something has happened, its too late! And last but not least: Never do it with a partner you dont know enough or who doesnt know you enough. At some point it should be real after all. If you want to go on your first excursions into the real BDSM world and are sure that you can not only experience the difference between head cinema and reality, but can also cope with it, there is still a residual risk: Some partners suddenly feel real quite differently than it first gave the impression. No matter whether the disillusionment could not be foreseen or you were even deliberately led astray, such situations can become dangerous. Not only for your soul, but also for your body. If, for example, the allegedly gently instructing Dom reveals himself as a sex-hungry hardcore sadist, while you lie tied up and gagged in front of him in search of your first experiences, its too late. We therefore recommend that you have your first encounters with the real BDSM world covered, as long as you cannot trust your counterpart one hundred percent. Be absolutely honest with yourself in this assessment! Covering means that a third person will be present at least at the beginning, who you can trust and who will intervene if she herself notices that something is wrong or if you give an agreed signal. Due to the nature of the matter, relatives and acquaintances are usually eliminated as covers. Therefore, it is not easy to find someone who makes himself available. If you dont see any possibilities, you can also contact us. We can try to find you a person who is trustworthy from our point of view or we can be at your disposal if necessary.

Basic equipment for VR subs & doms

There is no basic equipment. The materials and accessories used depend first and foremost on the preferences of your partner and yourself. You can spend a fortune in relevant online shops for simple things, which may be replaced by other materials cheaply. Do not plan a bulk purchase for the beginning. And just as you shouldnt go hungry to a grocery store, its better not to start BDSM shopping with unsatisfied lust. For a start, a cotton rope will certainly be enough to tie you up, and before you buy a crop or stick for a cost-intensive beating, a kitchen board or wooden spoon will suffice to try it out. This may sound ridiculous, but if you and your partner want to gain your first BDSM experience, you wont tell anyone what you did anyway. Later, you can decide which BDSM utensils you think are suitable. But keep in mind that before you use your newly purchased toys for the first time, find out what they can do to your partner! And: Always do it amicably. Also (or in particular?) for BDSM applies: No master has fallen from the sky yet. BDSM beginners in particular often feel completely insecure and overwhelmed by the flood of clever advice.


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